And so we listen...


Hello friends,

The world is often filled with noise. What helps you listen?

It took me many years to learn to listen deeply, instead of trying to anticipate. Trying to anticipate was my child-self’s way of keeping safe. Not that it always helped. Not when violent outbursts were random. But I tried anyway, baking that pattern into my body and mind.

Eventually, I realized I wasn’t giving others a chance to really express themselves. I didn’t give myself a chance to express myself on a deeper level, either.

But the world needs us to listen. We need to listen to each other. Finally figuring that out, I trained myself to not anticipate, to not fill pauses, and to still myself inside enough to listen more patiently and more clearly. This took years, but it is a practice that I value.

As a writer, it is particularly important that I listen, because otherwise my words and characters become flat. As an amateur photographer, I listen, too, and listening helps me notice the world around me more intimately and precisely.

Listening enriches life. Noticing helps ground us in place. De-centering ourselves for a moment deepens our connections.

So, when bombs drop, how do you listen?

When a child cries, how do you listen?

When music arises, how do you listen?

When whistles sound, how do you listen?

When crows call, how do you listen?

When a friend needs your presence, how do you listen?

What helps?

Best wishes — Thorn


T. Thorn Coyle

Read more from T. Thorn Coyle
looking down on a fully open magnolia tree blossom, green plant stalks and grey sidewalk below

Hello friends, A mourning dove hoo-hoos outside my window. Black capped chickadees chirp and crows call. Daffodils spring along sidewalks, and the sun peers out among grey clouds. It is the time of equinox here on planet Earth. I love equinoxes and solstices, because these are four times a year when I stop to take a larger pause. To notice the changes—subtle and large—around me. In the seasons. In the slant of sun. In the conversations of birds. In the fall of snow or leaves, or the rise of a...

A wood fence with large cut out letters spelling: Start with kindness

Hello friends, This has felt like a hard week, globally. Even as I watch events unfold from our comfortable home, I feel the psychic and emotional pressure. People are in danger, including in my home communities. Despite my relative privilege, I’m in danger, too. I wanted to name this pressure, in case you also feel it. But, here’s the thing, unless we need to actively get loved ones to safety right now, we need to choose to feel these emotions, and then regulate ourselves as best we can....

Photo of a sidewalk blue post box with a speech bubble scrawled on it that says “Why hello there?!”

Hello friends, There’s a question we likely hear all the time: “How are you?” Or “How you doing?” Or “You good?” Sometimes the question has meaning, but other times is just a series of polite noises, asked in public by someone we barely know. The intention behind the question depends on the tone in which it is spoken. Sometimes the question needs the conjugation of the verb “to be.” Other times, the verb gets dropped altogether, in a more casual rush. And here we are, back to tone, because...